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Shalonda Randolph ( Alopecia )

5/27/2014

Why are you BALD?I have suffered from Alopecia since I was 20. Before then I loved to relax, highlight and see how thick and fast my hair would grow. When I began to lose my hair in the middle of my head I became devastated, depressed and highly insecure. I thought of myself as ugly and became jealous of those who could wear their real hair without problems. Although I had a fear of wearing wigs (I thought for sure that one head turn would make the wig go in the opposite direction) I began to wear them. To my surprise I fell in love with them and began to try different styles and lengths.

I began to rely on them for my security. However, every time I took it off or tried to wear my real hear, my insecurity came back to haunt me and I began to see myself as ugly and unattractive again. I felt that I was different person without my wig (as if my facial features would change) I despised who I was. I became angry at God and would become very anxious at the thought of someone else discovering my secret shame. In fact, I would watch my close friends like a hawk after I told them or let them see my hair out of fear that they would tell someone or start to act different around me. That's how much my hair controlled me. One time, I decided I was going to try and beat my fear alone [without God] and styled my real hair (flat ironed and curled) and covered my balding area to the best of my ability and went out on my daily duties....needless to say it was windy that day and my balding area began to show and I freaked and couldnt focus the rest of the day. I had failed to conquer my fear. Each time I tried to go without a wig or weave I felt like an addict going through withdrawals...I felt that I needed them to survive...I couldn't truly be me without them. Even as I became a disciple and began to be vulnerable about my severe fear and would pray to God to help me be confidant, I was still haunted by the idea of one day wearing my real hair and it made me cringe. I began to feel good about telling the sisters about my hair secret but with everyone else I would become so ashamed and afraid. I began to study out God's love and thoughts of me...how he felt about me...and I began to see how important it is for me to love myself completely, wig/no wig, hair/no hair, make up/no make up, single/not single, tall, knock-kneed, imperfect flaws and all...I had to learn to love every inch of my being because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. And those who have known me since forever know how hard that would be for me. It was time for me to face the truth of who I am...and embrace God as he embraced me. Psalm 139 became my favorite scripture...especially these verses:

Psalm 139:-18
"Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake, I am still with you."

If I don't believe what God says about me and that I am fearfully and wonderfully made then I am calling God a liar and making his word void in my heart. Jesus died so I could have freedom from Satan's lies and the darkness he tries to hold me down in. He also died so I could have freedom from myself and experience a freedom in him. I told myself I was everything but beautiful for far too long and I ended up nowhere but depressed. I desperately wanted to know what it was like to see and feel the same way about myself the same way that God felt about me. Not in a conceited its all about me way but in a confidant and comfortable I can do all things and be unstoppable through Christ focused all the time on God type of way. Not being tripped up by self doubt or a woe is me type attitude. When the thought came for me to shave my head I instantly felt afraid...what would people think? How would they react? Am I ready for that? How will I look? Blah blah blah...and I became anxious...but I know that if I didn't do it, my security would go back to those wigs...I knew I had to prove something to myself...that my security CANNOT come from anyone or anything except God. I had to prove that I am still beautiful no matter what imperfections I had. And to prove it to myself...to push my self to rely on God to my core...I shaved my head.
How has being BALD impacted your life?Four years later I am still bald and so secure in who I am as a tall (6'3) black bald woman. I have my moments (as we all do) of insecurity and self doubt. Sometimes I miss my hair and all the various creative styles I could do...but then I think about all the time I save not doing that and I am good. :) I feel so free! God is still the main reason my confident still exists. Me shaving my head for him deepened my reliance on him in regards to beauty. I mean its so deep that sometimes I forget that I am bald. I love it. :)
Whats the worst thing that has happened or has been said to you as a BALD woman?I have been mistaken for a man a few times (being tall doesn't help it) The worst was sitting in the back of a room for a conference and the main speaker asked the audience a question and I was one of the people who raised my hand and he goes "Yes, you sir, in the back." I looked around and he says "I'm sorry, I mean ma'am" Wow. I had on big earrings and everything and the room wasn't that big so I wasn't THAT far back, lol. Another time was back when I first shaved my head (I actually left some hair at the top before I shaved it all off) and I was talking to some brothers from my church and they were talking about my "unique" hair cut and I told them that I was thinking about shaving it all off and they both get wide eyed and yell "no!" at the same time. Excuse me? I shaved it all off anyway...don't tell me what to do. lol.
What words of encouragement would you share with someone going BALD?I would share what someone shared with me through a a book called "Approval Addiction" by Joyce Meyer:
"Don't be afraid of your weaknesses any longer. Don't allow them to make you hate yourself. Give them all to God, and He will surprise you by using them. Give Him all that you are and especially all that you are not. When you do surrender to God in this way, you will experience a release from those things that burden you. You will be able to live light and free. Don't let your weaknesses and imperfections embarrass you. You are a human being, so give yourself permission to be one. Love yourself in spite of everything you see wrong with yourself. We all have to deal with our little load of faults and imperfections. God can gain glory for Himself through those who will not let their personal weaknesses stop Him from flowing through them. For God to do that through us, first we must come face to face with the fact that we have weaknesses, and then we must determine not to let them bother us. Our imperfections are not going to stop God unless we let them do so." I would tell them that no matter what happens with their hair, they will ALWAYS be beautiful because whether they know or believe it or not, they are made in the image of God and he makes no mistakes!

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Kelli Fair (Bald by Choice)

5/27/2014

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Why are you BALD?I am bald by choice, I was simply tired of being a slave to hair salons.
How has being BALD impacted your life?Being bald has made me braver. The other day a young woman walked up to me and said "it takes a lot of confidence to wear a look like that" I told her that " Since I had to believed in something, I started with myself first".
Whats the worst thing that has happened or has been said to you as a BALD woman?People mistaken me for a man...
What words of encouragement would you share with someone going BALD?People think that the shape of their head matters, I always tell folks, that it never occur to me that my head would not fit... I think that your head, face will match your heart and mindset and it will Work!

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Mecca Scott (Hereditary Alopecia/Stress Alopecia)

5/27/2014

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Why are you BALD?Hereditary Alopecia/Stress Alopecia
How has being BALD impacted your life?When I began having issues with my hair and scalp, I ignored them. Relaxers were making my hair limp and lifeless. When my scalp began to react, I panicked and went to a dermatologist. He told me to stop the chemicals immediately. I chopped off my hair and wore a teeny afro. Even then I realized I had a thinning spot. I got sister locs and my hair grew pass my shoulders.

suddenly there were spaces of no hair. I wasn't losing dreds but the spaces were appearing. My stylist couldn't hide them any longer in a way that felt comfortable. I began wearing scarves, while trying to figure out what I would do.

I felt like I was keeping some terrible secret. I felt shame. coming from a place where I know that feeling all to well and the work I did to fight my way out, it was depressing.

I got up one night and chopped them down to a teeny fro again and the baldness was so obvious. I felt liberated and terrified at the same time. It still took a while for me to shave my head. I did not want a scarf coming off and people see the patch work on my head. Plus, I didn't want to cause my husband any embarrassment.

When I shaved my head, I couldn't stop smiling. I felt like a proud warrior. My dad kept his head bald, I use to watch him shave. He's passed on, but I feel like he is with me, loving me and telling me how pretty I am, Everytime I shave.
Whats the worst thing that has happened or has been said to you as a BALD woman?I cut myself for the first time, right before a dinner party I was giving.

A man said to me why was I walking around with a rag on my head, when he saw me bald, he asked "wwhat the hell did I do that for". It made me furious and I wanted to light him up but it was at a work event so I let it slide.
What words of encouragement would you share with someone going BALD?I don't want to spread false triumph. Some people have head shapes that really compliment baldness. Some people have head shapes that would bring more challenge than just being bald in public. you have to do what makes you comfortable and confident. whether it's beautiful scarfs, tasteful wigs or a bald head; you have to wear it in confidence.

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Brittany Umana (Alopecia)

5/20/2014

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Why are you BALD? I was Diagnosed with Alopecia when I was 11 years old. I was able to see baby smooth patches of skin on my head. It was very hard on me because I always had super long hair. This was when my sister promised me that if I ever had to go bald she would be by my side and shave her head too. My huge patches of skin completely grew in when I entered middle school and I was glad that my sister didn't have to shave her head with me. Once I began high school the patches came back and I went through high school worrying whether or not people could see my bald spots. My senior year in high school was very stressful and the bald spots grew bigger than ever before and I knew that this was finally the beginning of me becoming fully bald. I was able to hide my way through my senior year, but I was depressed through the whole year and became fed up with having to hide under beanies or pulling my hair into super high ponytails. During the end of high school I finally decided I would go bald after graduation and to my surprise my sister was standing by my side with the same intentions. I was scared, but I wasn't alone. A week after high school my sister and I completely shaved our heads and for once in my life I felt free. It was so thrilling to finally be free of hair because it was such a pain for most of my life. I'm still bald now because my hair won't grow back anymore, but I'm happier than I'm no longer hiding behind hair.
How has being BALD impacted your life? It's been such an experience for me. It's made me much more confident now because I'm so much happier now that I am no longer stressing over my hair and whether or not my spots are showing. I feel free and people even tell me I have a glow when I walk into a room. Sure people talk and stare, but the feeling of being free is so much more important. I'm being myself now that I am bald.
Whats the worst thing that has happened or has been said to you as a BALD woman? A crush I was talking to told me that a friend of mine give him advice about me. She told him, "Ewww she BALD! How could you be with a BALD GIRL that's disturbing! She's so Ugly!" Before I went bald I was always afraid to hear this because when you lose you hair you lose SOME of you femininity.
If you had words to share with someone that was transitioning to being BALD by circumstance or by choice, what would you tell them? You're beautiful no matter what! You may have some days where you feel a little down, but in those times of need I love to look at pictures of beautiful bald women like Amber Rose, Grace Jones, and Stefania Ferrario who inspire me to believe that I can be Bald and Beautiful!

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Jacqueline Hicks (Bald by Choice/Solidarity)

5/20/2014

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Why are you BALD? I have Divorced myself from my ego. Im divorcing myself from the blaring voice we all hear (especially women) that tells us to look a certain way. From the pressure of society constantly trying to make everyone feel we have to portray a certain image just to be accepted in this world. Im divorcing myself from the notion that I need my strands of hair to be a woman.

I am now more aware of the curves of my body, the sound of my voice, the way I dress, even the way I smell. Analyzing and inspecting each element of myself to discover who I am and more importantly who I can be. ✔️

I have removed my strands as well to support my grandmother in her battle with cancer. I prayed and sacrificed to lose my strands so she doesn't have to lose hers. ❤️
How has being BALD impacted your life? I'm changing others life more than just my own by inspiring others that it is ok to be BALD, to be BOLD, to be DIFFERENT!!
Whats the worst thing that has happened or has been said to you as a BALD woman? The usual you would be more attractive with your hair. When are you growing it back? Are you sick? Is this a phase?
If you had words to share with someone that was transitioning to being BALD by circumstance or by choice, what would you tell them?Here is the link to my YouTube video I just recently uploaded on May 3rd so far I have received much positive and supportive feedback in regards to my journey becoming a Bald Woman http://youtu.be/aXC9Cm49jRg

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Kelsee Connell (Alopecia Universialis)

5/20/2014

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Why are you BALD? I was diagnosed with Alopecia Universialis at the age of 4.
How has being BALD impacted your life? Being bald has made me stronger than I could have ever imagined. I have learned to accept who I am and what I look like. After 14 years with Alopecia, I can finally deal with the hurtful comments and stares.
Whats the worst thing that has happened or has been said to you as a BALD woman? As a child, people would make fun of me for not having hair. I was known as "the only kid allowed to wear a hat in school." I had another kid pull my wig off and proceed to make fun of me during recess. People say that I look like a boy when they see pictures of me with my wig off.
If you had words to share with someone that was transitioning to being BALD by circumstance or by choice, what would you tell them? I would tell them not to let the loss of their hair steal their confidence. Explain to people what is happening. Do not let the words of those who don't understand your circumstances define who you are.

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Victoria Antoine (Bald by Choice)

5/20/2014

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Why are you BALD? I look beautiful and I don't need hair to define me for who I am! I can't stand wearing weaves, tracks, and other hair products that I've done in the past. I am just tired trying to find who I am, I am trying to fitting like everybody else. So, I decided to cut all my cut and It changed my life for the better. I look more sexier and confident with myself. I love being bald!
How has being BALD impacted your life? It's made very good impact. Shockingly I have more opportunities when it comes to careers I get a lot of compliments from strangers. They said that" you got the face for the short hair" or " you look so exotic". I love the compliments.
Whats the worst thing that has happened or has been said to you as a BALD woman? I have been called "Ugly" or "why would you cut your hair, you looked like lesbian" but personally I don't care about what people said about me. It's just hair, like I said before I don't let hair define me for who I am.
If you had words to share with someone that was transitioning to being BALD by circumstance or by choice, what would you tell them? Be you! It's just hair. Hair doesn't define you. Being Bald is more beautiful than ever. Always have confident because at the end of the day you know who you are.

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Jade Gare (Trichotillomania)

5/17/2014

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Why are you BALD?

Being bald is something Ive had to learn to accept since i was 15 years old, i'm 22 now. At the age of 15 my memory to me back in time to when i was a little girl and i sadly got touched in a inappropriate way which after this memory traumatized me, it lead me to self harming which was pulling out my hair. To this day i still do it, i don't want to do it anymore but i'm teaching myself ways over come this problem.
Iv learnt that it is a disorder, compulsive obsessive disorder called Trichotillomania. Once i looked deep into this it has brought me to realize that i'm not weird, or ugly or strange, and that millions of other people in the world suffer from this to, even grown women still suffer from this disorder, but it does not make you a weirdo. You can't help it but you can teach your self a way out, but that it will take time.
My family and friends have supported me through this and help distract me in different ways. It's so beautiful of them and i'm so thankful.

To who ever suffers with this as well, its not your fault and you are still human!
I'm quite open with it now and more confident to talk about it and explain to people who don't know about it, but of coarse i will get my days where i'll look in the mirror and hate myself.
But i am beautiful, and bald. And i'm not ashamed anymore.

How has being BALD impacted your life?

It has affected me in a ways of loosing confidence in myself, makes me insecure and i feel people all around me are staring and talking about me.
Growing up as a little girl my hair was my everything, it always looked beautiful and made me feel pretty.

Whats the worst thing that has happened or has been said to you as a BALD woman?

When my hair had gone, i never wanted to leave my room to see my friends, i was nervous and scared of what people would think of me.
When people had heard of my problem i would receive prank calls or txts of anonymous calling my baldy or keep picking jade you ugly bitch, and iv had my hat pulled off my head in public in front of loads of people, i felt heart broken and humiliated.

If you had words to share with someone that was transitioning to being BALD by circumstance or by choice, what would you tell them?

Growing up my older sister was my rock, she was also into her hair and beauty. She pushed me to love myself, and told me everyday it's whats on the inside that is important not on the outside.

So her true and honest words have inspired me to share with others.
It feels great having no hair sometimes, a job less in the morning to deal with before work etc, and the warm breeze on a hot day is very satisfying. We all want to have long swishy shiny locks, and we can, the wigs these days are amazing! They look like real hair and are affordable.
If your going bald out of choice or circumstance, it helps to love you for who you are. Let people see you with your held held high, let them see you love you and how you look. But don't do it for acceptance, do it because it makes you feel amazing and of coarse happy.

Love is a powerful and meaningful word to me, so i would just say, say to yourself when you look in the mirror, i love me! And your are beautiful today, and will be everyday.

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Testimonial Tuesday -Katy Joseph

5/9/2014

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Why are you BALD? I am bald because I was diagnosed as having alopecia.
I was having a hard time accepting the diagnosis, and struggled for a while with wearing wigs, and trying dreads. Actively trying to save something that would not let me save it. I finally made the decision one day after I went to a family event with a wig on to take all the hair left off. I told my brother and we went up to his room with my wig on and I emerged back downstairs with no wig and a shaved head. All of my family members immediately loved it. Some were in shock, but still loved it all the same.
How has being BALD impacted your life? Being bald has impacted me by liberating me to accept the fact that my HAIR does not make me who I am.
I love it and I constantly say what took me so long to finally make the move and free myself from society's take on beauty!
Whats the worst thing that has happened or has been said to you as a BALD woman? I have been called a sir, I get stared at all the time. I tend to laugh or shake my head at people because it is not polite to stare, lol.
I once had a little girl with her dad ask about my lack of hair, he seemed to be embarrassed for me. I told him it was okay and proceeded to answer his daughter's question.
If you had words to share with someone that was transitioning to being BALD by circumstance or by choice, what would you tell them? I would tell them that hair does not make you the person that you are, and hair surely does not make one beautiful. I would tell them that it would be better to embrace the fact and just do it. Being bald is very sexy and very liberating!

I have convinced someone to do it and she looks even more beautiful after she shed the bondage of hair.

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Testimonial Tuesday - Lonya Burns

5/9/2014

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Why are you BALD? I am bald not by choice. I started losing my hair in September. By november i had shaved it off for charity. I raised over £1000 with the help of the amazing people around me. I am still going through tests and lord knows what else to try and pin point why i lost my hair.
How has being BALD impacted your life? Becoming Bald stripped me of my confidence, i no longer had my lions mane to hide behind (and boy was it a mane). But i am ready to take control once more, i've started a blog called Baldylocks and the three hairs (http://3hairs.blogspot.co.uk/) in order to vent my frustration and help myself come to terms with it. My aim is that if i can help one other person come to terms with the fact that they too have become bald, my mission is complete.
Whats the worst thing that has happened or has been said to you as a BALD woman? Working in a bar seems to give people the right to pass judgements or comments...I've been asked if i'm terminal, if i'm a neo nazi, how i expect to find a husband...you name it i've been asked it.
If you had words to share with someone that was transitioning to being BALD by circumstance or by choice, what would you tell them? Grieve all you like, it's ok to be sad...but don't let it drown you.

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